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[clumsy_auror]

It's been a long, long day.

There've been crying jags, squabbles over naptimes, spit-ups, spills, and baths flaily enough to merit an umbrella.

However.

Nymphadora Tonks is a Determined Woman.

And this particular Determined Woman is currently leaning against the open closet door, waiting for her husband to look up.

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[clumsy_auror]

"You are," Nymphadora informs him, reclaiming the use of her hands and pinning him neatly to the bed. "And that's why I love you. We fit, you see."

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

"...Because you're so sincere?"

[clumsy_auror]

"No, you arse!" she laughs. "Because I'm full of shite, too! Pay attention."

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

Gasp!

"You are?" He affects a heartbroken mien.

Its effect is kind of like when comedians try their hand at Shakespeare: profoundly disturbing.

"Did you ever love me?"

[clumsy_auror]

Amiably, "Fuck off. You look like you've been sucking on a lemon."

She releases his arms and flops down on top of him.

"...Ow."

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

Bernard snickers and smacks her ass.

With love!

"Now you're smooshing me."

[clumsy_auror]

"Sorry, sorry."

She slides over to her side of the bed again, hiding a wince.

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

He sees her hiding it.

"What's wrong?"

[clumsy_auror]

"Just. Still a bit, erm. Tender."

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

Bernard scoots closer and pulls her into his arms, kissing her cheek, her neck, her eyelids.

"You won't always be."

[clumsy_auror]

"I know. Gotta get back on the horse sometime, anyhow."

There's a long, long pause.

Then she absolutely dissolves into giggles.

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

Bernard is silent and lets her laugh at her own joke for a few moments, before exhaling messily like a certain large beast of burden.

[clumsy_auror]

And that, of course, only sets her off more.

"I-I'm sorry," she manages finally. "Was out of my mouth before I even r-realised..."

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

"I'm much prettier than any horse."

He can't even take umbrage when she's so convulsed.

[clumsy_auror]

"You really are," Nymphadora agrees cheerfully, fisting a hand in his hair and pulling him close for a thorough kiss.

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

"Mmf!" Bernard moans and kisses her back enthusiastically. "...Golly. I didn't know equines got you so hot and bothered."

Peter Shaffer would love it.

[clumsy_auror]

"You're an arse."

But she carries on kissing him, anyway.

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

"I have it on good authority that you like arses."

He gropes hers.

[clumsy_auror]

"I do, rather. And so, apparently, do you."

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

An innocent look.

"No idea what you could be talking about."

That hand? Totally not done groping.

[clumsy_auror]

A squeak. And more giggling.

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

Bernard licks down her neck and presses a kiss to the top of one breast.

"I love you."

[clumsy_auror]

"I love you too," she sighs, pushing her fingers through his hair. "Feel a bit like a teenager at the moment, actually. And I mean that in the best way possible."

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

"...You sure you wanna go back to work, ever? Just think," a nip to her collarbone, "of having the energy to do this every night."

Bastard.

[clumsy_auror]

"Oh, yeah," she says seriously. "Because staying home with our toddler and our newborn is really gonna keep me well-rested."