(no subject)

[clumsy_auror]

"Bernard, it'll be fine. I Apparated Crowley home from Iraq that one time, didn't I?"

Nymphadora raises an eyebrow at her husband, expectant.

Down at the alley's opening, the traffic of Charing Cross Road whizzes merrily by, and the sidewalks are filled with people out soaking up the bright afternoon sunshine.

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[clumsy_auror]

"Don't worry. It'll be easy as anything," she reassures him, stepping closer and wrapping her arm around his waist, apparently to draw him in for another kiss.

He probably doesn't notice the way her fingers thread securely though his belt loop.

"And then it'll be a whole day of just you, and me, and as little clothing as we can possibly get away with."

Grinning, she leans in and kisses him again.

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

Bernard smiles against her lips, increasingly persuaded.

He pulls back, and opens his mouth. "I love--"

And, for a split second, Bernard wasn't.

And then, he was again, and they were standing in the middle of a field. He felt dizzy, a little sick.

"--you. Holy shit."

[clumsy_auror]

"Love you, too," 'Dora replies cheerfully, taking in their surroundings. "Welcome to Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania. Well, the outskirts, anyhow. Doing all right?"

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

Bernard shakes his head to clear it. "A-buh. Um. Can we tip some cows while we're here?"

He's fiiiiiiiine.

[clumsy_auror]

"No, leave the cows alone. Focus on the beach, Bernard... am I meant to be not-warning you now, too?"

Oops. Too late!

Everything goes black again, and then the Colorado landscape melts into existence around them.

"...Blimey. Glad I missed that canyon, over there."

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

Bernard's head thumps down onto her shoulder, and he practically whines. "Don't say things like that!"

[clumsy_auror]

"I'm only kidding! It's got to be at least fifty yards away. We're doing brilliantly. Besides, chin-up. This'll be our last leg." A kiss to his cheek.

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

"All right. But if I have a heart attack--" And in the snap of a finger, they're in a slightly dingy alley in Puerto Vallarta. It's fairly early on Saturday morning.

"...Um. No heart attack. Never mind."

[clumsy_auror]

"I could say I told you so. But I won't." Grinning, Nymphadora takes his hand and pulls him out into the street, peering around interestedly. "Which way's the ferry, d'you reckon?"

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

Benard looks back and forth, scratching his head.

"Last time I was here, I was too drunk to see. This looks like... Okay. We're south of downtown, and the ferry's a bit south of us. C'mon." He takes his wife's hand and pulls her to the left and down the street.

[clumsy_auror]

They walk for a short while, and as they go, Nymphadora admires the ornate bell-tower of the cathedral, visible above the buidlings around them.

"--Oh, there, I think I see the dock. Have you got the money?"

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

Bernard suppresses a smirk at his wife's 'SHINY!!!!' expression, and nods, guiding her around a gaggle of elderly tourists. "Got it. The reservation's set, yeah?"

[clumsy_auror]

"Yup. Booked it all myself. Oh, isn't the water lovely."

The sun, barely peeking over the mountains behind them, has just begun to splash onto the water, turning it to a translucent blue-green.

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

He squeezes her hand. "Gonna be hot later." He takes a deep breath, and grins. "I missed the heat of summer at home. It never really gets hot like it ought to."

[clumsy_auror]

"You can soak it up all you like, so long as you let me give you a sun-blocking charm."

They reach the dock, and the ferryman greets them with a smile and takes their fare; the two of them step carefully onto the boat and take seats along the side.

"So, Yelapa's not really an island?"

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

"Thought you liked lobster," Bernard quips badly. He slips an arm around her shoulders. "Nah, it's just on the other side of the bay. But there are no fucking roads to it because of the mountains. Pretty remote."

This does not displease him.

[clumsy_auror]

Nor her, for that matter.

The trip over is quiet; there are only a few others coming over to the hotel.

"It's beautiful," she says wistfully, as they alight from the boat on the other side of the bay.

Nymphadora rather wishes it wasn't just one day, but she'll take what she can get.

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

Funny; Bernard's thinking the same thing as they check in and head out to their cabana. "...We should take a winter vacation here sometime. Bring Crowley and Aziraphael. And the kids, of course."

[clumsy_auror]

And at that, 'Dora perks up. "We should. We could all get our own cabanas, and Sunny would really love all the little animals in the tide pools..."

Bernard opens the door, and they step inside.

"...And I'm officially in love with that bed."

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

Bernard starts to laugh. "And I'm officially in love with you." He pulls her to him, dropping his bag on the floor, then pauses. "Shit. Manager said to check for snakes first thing."

[clumsy_auror]

"Bugger, that's right." A pause. "We're not bringing any more home for Sunny."

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

"Augh. No. Because these ones bite." He strides to the closet and opens is quickly. Nada.

[clumsy_auror]

The witch uses her wand to open all of the bureau drawers, and prowls around the room, peeking under the table and bed.

"Nothing!"

[the-woodpecker.livejournal.com]

Quickly, Bernard inspects the small bathroom. In the tub, behind the shower curtain, behind the toilet, in the toilet, in the toilet tank.

"All clear. Did you check the bed?"

[clumsy_auror]

She yanks off the coverlet. No snakes. "Yup!"

There is flopping.