(no subject)

[clumsy_auror]

Nymphadora's just a bit tired, after last night's excitement and the ensuing crying jags that resulted in she and Bernard walking the floor with one child or another until the wee small hours.

Perhaps it's not so surprising, then, that she finds her entire family in her bed when she comes home from work; Bernard's snoring lightly with Anthony asleep on his chest, and Sunny curled close under his arm. Even Ellie's snoozing at the end of the bed.

She grins faintly and goes back out into the living room, making herself comfortable with a stack of paperwork and an oatmeal raisin cookie.

Comments

[awesome_lilly]

There's a gentle knock on her door. Lilly knows there are small children sleeping in there. She doesn't want to wake them up.

She also doesn't want them to get any of the ice cream she's holding.

"Anybody home?" she calls softly.

[clumsy_auror]

The door swings open, after a few moments, and 'Dora's face relaxes into a grin. "Hey, Lilly. C'mon in."

As the girl walks past, Nymphadora catches a glimpse of what she's carrying, and bites her lip. "Oh dear. Do I smell complications in the air?"

[awesome_lilly]

"Yup," Lilly replies succinctly.

"I was hoping I could trade ice cream for you listening to me whine about my love life and not saying I told you so more than once or twice."

[clumsy_auror]

"No 'I told you so' from me," 'Dora promises, shutting the door behind Lilly and waving her over to the couch. "Have a seat, I'll get some implements."

There's a minute of rummaging in the kitchen, and then the witch returns with napkins, two spoons, and two glasses of milk. She sets the milk and napkins down on the coffee table, sits cross-legged on the couch, and hands Lilly a spoon.

"Right. So. Let's have it, then."

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly swallows a preemptive spoonful of ice cream first.

"Okay. So, remember how I said I was seeing a couple different people and all was fine? Well. One of them - Jayne, actually - didn't realize we were seeing other people. We'd never actually bothered to talk about it, and then when we did... it turns out he's not so okay with sharing."

[clumsy_auror]

A wince. Upon reflection, she's not entirely surprised by Jayne's reaction. She, too, takes a bite of ice cream before speaking. "Did he break it off completely?"

[awesome_lilly]

"Nope."

Lilly sighs, shoving her spoon into the ice cream and momentarily abandoning it.

"Worse than that. He basically left it up to me. If I want to be with him, I can, but that means only him, then."

[clumsy_auror]

"Well, shite." She sighs, too, and props her chin up on her hand. "So there's Jayne and then there's Indy. Does Indy have any thoughts on the subject?"

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly frowns, picking her ice cream spoon back up.

"It's really freaking hard to tell. I mean, he said he's okay with it but not happy about it, but that he doesn't think there's any point in forcing me to make some kind of choice or be in a relationship I don't want."

She contemplates her ice cream for a moment.

"So, yeah. I think he's okay with things but sometimes I wonder if that's gonna last."

[clumsy_auror]

A nod, as she considers this. For several long moments.

Then, as she digs for another bite of ice cream:

"And how do you feel about being with either of them, knowing neither are terribly happy with the situation?"

[awesome_lilly]

"Guilty," Lilly says dejectedly. "Which, ugh. I hate guilt. It gives me wrinkles."

She glances down.

"Seriously, though... I don't like it. But it's not like I want to be unhappy with the situation either, and I would if I were being all monogamous. With either of them."

[clumsy_auror]

She picks up her glass, and takes a sip. "What is it about monogamy that's scaring you off? I mean..." A frank look. "I know Alain and everyone leaving was a pretty bloody awful thing, but. What's that got to do with your prospects for anyone else?"

Her tone is quiet, and warm.

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly's quiet for a long moment.

"I- I don't know how much Alain has to do with it, actually. I'd never actually been monogamous before him. High school, and the way Logan and I were..."

She shrugs.

"Cheating was as much a part of our relationship as anything else, as long as I was alive. And then here, when I was with Alain, it wasn't even a thought. Of course, we weren't together all that long. I don't know if... maybe I'd have gotten tired of being with just one person. Maybe I'd have found someone else I cared about too and had this problem with him."

[clumsy_auror]

"I guess I can understand that."

And yet... Almost reluctantly, 'Dora continues.

"D'you want my advice, or would you rather me just do the comforting big-sister thing for the moment? 'Cause I can do either, honestly."

[awesome_lilly]

"I don't know," Lilly says, considering this.

"Um. Well, I actually do have one thing I'd like advice on. I don't... I don't know if I don't want to be monogamous because it worked out so badly the last time, or because I'm just actually capable of really caring about more than one person at a time. What do you think?"

[clumsy_auror]

"Hm." She swallows another mouthful of ice cream, thoughtfully sucking on the spoon for a moment. "I mean, I really think Alain has something to do with it. And that's not a bad thing -- it just... is.

"But on the other hand," 'Dora continues, "you might well be capable of caring for more than one person. I know I'm not, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything for you."

There's a slight pause.

"Well, actually," she amends, "I might be capable of caring for more than one person at once. But I know I'm not capable of being in love with more than one. For whatever that's worth."

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly nods thoughtfully at this.

"Yeah, if we're going to talk about love, I may need booze."

She goes with milk for now, though.

"See, I don't think I love either of them. Well, I love them but not the in love way. Which may be good. The only way this could be more complicated is if I did fall in love with either or both of them."

[clumsy_auror]

"Well, it's early days with both of them yet, isn't it? So I wouldn't expect you to be in love with either of them at this stage, either."

A fair bit of the ice cream has gone the way of the dodo, by now.

'Dora helps the rest of it along a little further.

"So... let's see. Indy's willing to live with not being the only one, but he's not happy about it. And Jayne's also not happy about it, but doesn't wanna keep on with things as they are. That about right?"

[awesome_lilly]

"Yeah," Lilly confirms. "That's pretty much it."

She pauses.

"Well, there are a couple other people kinda peripherally involved, but they either wouldn't care if we stopped sleeping together and/or are involved with other people anyway. So that's right."

[clumsy_auror]

'Dora sighs, and thunks her head onto the back of the couch, looking over at Lilly after a moment.

"Got any ideas?"

[awesome_lilly]

"Uh. Not so much."

More ice cream is always a good idea.

"Well, I mean. I'm going to think about it, and probably talk to them both some more. I was kinda taken by surprise when Jayne brought it up, so I don't know if he's got any flexibility on this at all. Like, if it was just him and one other guy if that'd be better."

She sighs.

"And if it's not, then... I will think some more, I guess. Because I don't want to make anyone unhappy or hurt anyone but that also includes me, and it'd hurt to lose one or both of them."




"I'm so screwed."

[clumsy_auror]

"Not screwed, precisely, but... well." Quietly, "At least one person's gonna be unhappy, no matter what you decide."

[awesome_lilly]

"Yeah. I know."

Lilly puts the near-empty ice cream carton on the table and curls up.

"Which sucks, but I don't see any way around it. I just wish I knew... well, I know what I want to do. I want to be with them both. I just don't think there's any way that can work."

[clumsy_auror]

"I don't think so, no," 'Dora replies, sounding resigned. "But... like you said, just give it a bit of time. Talk to Jayne again. See how he feels in a day or two. Sounds pretty sure about it, though, from what you've said."

[awesome_lilly]

"Yeah."

Lilly sighs.

"He is. Thinking he might change his mind is probably just wishful thinking. But I'm still going to take some time, think about it, and I guess figure out what I want that can actually happen."

[clumsy_auror]

"Good plan."

She finishes off her milk, pondering the situation. 'Dora knows what she'd do in Lilly's place, but that's neither here nor there. She's not Lilly, and Lilly's got to do what's best for herself.

"Anyway. Wanna hang out for a while? I've got chick flicks."

[awesome_lilly]

"Definitely," Lilly says, brightening.

"I could use some distractions. Thanks, Tonks."

She smiles warmly.

"For all of it."

[clumsy_auror]

"Don't mention it." Grinning, 'Dora stands and ruffles Lilly's hair on her way to grab a few movie choices. "My spoons are your spoons."

Talking is good. And so are distractions from the talking when it's done.

So we'll call the afternoon a success.